So many reasons
We all have so many reasons why something would make us give up
Or… really spur us on
The weird thing is, this something can be exactly the same ‘thing’
Some people are brought up by dreadful parents - which in turn makes them a dreadful parent
And, some people are brought up by dreadful parents - which completely spurs them on to be THE best parent they can be
Similar experience
Different outcome
I don’t completely understand why this is
Human nature I guess
What I do know is, some stuff happened to me as a child
Which should never happen to any child
Unfortunately, it is a lot more prevalent than I think any of us would care to think about
This is part of my life story and only just, sort of, coming out now
Because my mummy is already tucked up in heaven
And my daddy is tucked up in his dementia riddled haze
It would’ve killed both of them that they couldn’t ‘protect’ me
I was a very well looked after child
My brothers and I were all loved and taken care of
We were taught all the ‘stranger danger’ stuff and were well protected
But still, it happened
I don’t know how it could’ve been prevented
The person was known to me
Was known to the family
And I suppose… trusted
I’m not going to get into the who, what, where, when, and hows
That is not what this post is about
What it IS about is how my abject misery about something I didn’t understand
And my need for help to even just survive
Could then somehow be the very thing that has since spurred me on to become THE best ‘me’ I could be
I knew it had happened
I also didn’t understand it was at the root of my depression
…And self-loathing
How could it be…? Oh come on…that’s like something out of a film!
But… just like my first therapist said to me when I spat those words at her
“Where do you think they get their ideas from?… Real-life I’m afraid”
I would hate to hurt my family in any way
I feel uncomfortable that all this feels the need to come out
But it also feels important
Because what happened to me and my needing help to not be such a ‘basket case’
Has since spurred me on to become The Best Coach and Mentor I could ever be
And has me striving to get better and better, learn more and more about what makes us tick
How to hack our own brains
It has become an obsession of mine
I do have obsessional tendencies
And have great difficulty concentrating on anything I find dull
It appears to be part of who I am
I’d probably be diagnosed with an ADHDFU something or other
But I don’t see it as a disability… of any kind
I see it as a Superpower
I am an obsessive
And I love it!
I have to watch myself with lots of things
Be careful I don’t get too obsessed with how clean and tidy the house is
Or that the tins in my food cupboard are in ‘sleeping with the enemy’ perfect rows
And straightening the tea towel hanging on the oven door handle so the ‘seam doesn’t show’ (I do allow myself that one )
But when I point that compass needle at something good
Fucking watch me go
And I am obsessed… with Possibility
What IS possible for us??
What, with a little help and guidance are we REALLY capable of??
I’ll give you a clue
A lot more than we fucking think, that’s what!
I ADORE this game we call life
I’m EXCITED to see what the universe has in store for me
And I intend to be every bit The Star Of My Own Movie
I’m on my way up
And fuck me am I going to enjoy the ride!
If you think you want more out of this mind-movie we call life
You want more love, more joy, more money, more of EVERYTHING!
Then I implore you to get in touch because I guarantee it
THERE IS MORE AVAILABLE TO YOU!!!!
And the ONLY thing stopping you is what you say to yourself… in your own head
I am who and what I am today because something negative happened to me
And I needed help, which I got
Then once I looked over the parapet of my own mind and saw that not only was there a whole other world out there
But it was in glorious technicolour
And in 3D!…
I was hooked
Mine is a story of triumph and I’m nowhere near finished yet
How do you want your story to go?? You ok with it??
Or… are you wanting more??